Finding my way

Our Advent spiral, December 21, 2020

It’s almost a year since they sent us home. It is impossible to sum up how much the world has changed in this past year. But I think that’s okay, because you already know.

For me, this past year has brought a lot of exciting changes, including the biggie:

I got a full-time permanent job with a pension and benefits!

I worked my butt off for 3 years, and it paid off in a great job that I love!

This was the first time in my life that I:

  • set a long-term goal,
  • identified the steps I needed to get there, and
  • crushed them one by one.

It took 3 years of hard work to get here: pep talks, staying the course, pushing myself into uncomfortable territory again and again, plus a lot of luck and, yes, privilege.

Another major part of my job journey was finding the direction I wanted to go.

I had really been lost for years, ever since I had to stop homeschooling and enter the workforce. Even before that, I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.

But the moment I stepped behind the circulation desk at the library, I knew:

I was home.

That feeling — that deep feeling of rightness — gave me the clarity I needed to start working single-mindedly toward my goals. Once I knew, I KNEW!

I dove headlong into everything I figured would help me along my path:

And now, here I am: Grad School Mom, working full-time, with a teen and a pre-teen, a beautiful cat, and the priceless feeling of rightness, deep in my bones, that I am on the best career path in the world.

There is a huge amount of privilege at work in every success story, and it can seem invisible if one chooses to ignore it.

I know at the same time both how hard I worked to get here, and also how lucky I am to be here. I don’t believe that if someone is struggling it’s because they haven’t worked hard enough.

I come from university-educated parents who were able to help me out financially so many times and in so many ways throughout my life. I don’t even know how many doors my whiteness has allowed me to pass through, but I know it’s been a lot. And being cis-gender and straight-presenting has also made my journey easier than it would be for so many.

I’ve spent a lot of years feeling guilty about my privilege, and I am still not comfortable with the position I hold.

I can only say that as an aspiring librarian, I am going to fight for justice every chance I get!


4 thoughts on “Finding my way

  1. We crossed paths at somepoint many years ago, and its fun to see that you’ve found an amazing career!!! Congrats! Its so fulfilling when you love what you do!

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